Tuesday, September 23, 2008

I hate Comcast

I hate Comcast for several reasons, the biggest of which is the piss poor customer service. I called a couple of weeks ago to get rates on basic service because I had the all in one plan w/phone, internet & cable. We rarely use the phone or internet. No matter how well you follow the prompts on the damn 800#, you never get the right department (and I have a master's degree, i'm not stupid, i can follow a menu prompt), and the people who answer the phone are rude. For $150 a month, I want better service than that. If any of the people that I had talked to there had been even remotely decent in their attitude and tone of voice, I would have kept Comcast. I used to work in customer service at Verizon. I know good service, and Comcast doesn't have it.

I called today to cancel my service, and even though their website says customer service is available 24X7, only sales & service is open. If you want to cancel, you have to call during the day. When I'm working and have better things to do than go through phone hell trying to get something done at Comcast. Ugh. And, of course the first person I get is rude and the second gets the rath of my anger.

Anyway, I'm back to Verizon for my phone & internet and just completed my request for DirectTV.

Hello Comcast - You lost a customer for no better reason than your people are rude.

Saturday, September 20, 2008

After Great Pain, A Formal Feeling Comes

Well, it's been a while. I forget to write about my life while I'm living it!

I had my 5th, yes 5th, miscarriage on August 30th. Maybe I'm not supposed to be a mom. Maybe I'm supposed to be a weird cat lady or something. I feel numb. When will it be my turn? When will it be my time? I think I'm supposed to learn something life changing from this experience. However, all I have learned is that my friends are quite thoughtless, my mother is a jerk sometimes(I didn't even tell her about this one), I'm angry at the unfairness of life, I hate to see pregnant women, the thought of baby showers makes me irrate (why are people inviting me anyway?), none of the people I know are even trying to get pregnant - but 5 of them in the past year have gotten knocked up by mistake and had perfect babies - this is the biggest afront to my sensibilities of them all) and basically I'm a bitter person.

It is what it is. I am not going to let it get me down. Monday is the first day of Fall - my favorite season!! I am booked just about every weekend until the end of the year with fun things and plans. Next weekend I'll have a full house with my inlaws and my god child visiting from college! We're making headway on the house. New windows, freshly painted porch, little things inside the house getting fixed. Lots of BIG projects still to come and are completely overwhelming, but things are going well and small steps are great for me.

Sunday, April 13, 2008

Looking to the positive

I am sad to report that the twins have passed. Unfortunately, they shared the same amniotic sac within the same placenta. At some point at the beginning of last week they got in each other's way and blood flow through the chord was compromised.

This was my fourth miscarriage. I now have five angels looking over me. However, I am not as devistated as in the past. This would have been such a high risk pregnancy, that it was better to have it happen sooner than later. This way neither baby suffered. I would have had to been placed under the care of a hospital in Boston and they would have been born very early, if they survived long enough.

I am STILL hopeful for a successful pregnancy in the future. However, I am going to take a few months off from trying. We conceived so quickly on the clomid, that we aren't worried about about getting pregnant again, just sustaining. The only worry I have is that I am getting older and don't want to be 45 and pregnant. *I know, I'm only 37!*

Saturday, April 5, 2008

Babies Babies Babies

I had an ultrasound at 8 weeks due to my history of pregnancy loss. Much to my surprise, we're having identical twins! They say it is not an inherited trait, but my maternal grandmother was an identical twin. Regardless, we are happy! I saw both of their heartbeats, healthy and strong. I am very hopefull that this time around life will be kind.

I am also experiencing extreme tiredness, thirst, hot flashes, aversion to smells, changing bbs, and some nausea. In past pregnancies, I only had tiredness and sore bbs in the beginning. I am not complaining about any of it because it means I am still pregnant! I go for another U/S on the 16th to confirm a membrane between the two babies.

My mother was a pill, once again, when I told her the news. She told me not to "do anything" , implying that I would cause a loss. When I had my first miscarriage, she asked " what did you do?" and with the second, "what did you do this time?" I didn't tell her about the third until months later, to avoid the verbal assault. My mother is cruel with words. No matter how many times I tell her that her words are thoughtless and hurtfull, she continues. I knew I shouldn't have called her. I thought she would be excited. However, I will not allow her to ruin my joy!

Hubby is excited, friends are excited, I am excited! Can't wait to see them again on the U/S!

Wednesday, March 5, 2008

The bun is in the oven!

Great news this morning- I am pregnant! Yeah :)

Only needed one cycle of Clomid - I feel lucky.

I have started taking progesterone (prometrium) today and this will hopefully prevent another miscarriage (3 is enough for me or anyone).

I am trying not to get too excited, with my history of bad news. However, this time I feel that with the help of the hormone, I have a chance. Due date is Nov 13.

DH is happy, but like myself, not allowing to get too excited.

On a different note, we've received110 inches of snow this winter, and more projected for this weekend! I love snow, but enough is enough. This city has no place to put it and it feels like we're trapped behind mountainous walls of snow. Leaving soon for points south. Can't wait.

Sunday, January 20, 2008

Some kind of crazy

Pats are in the Super Bowl. Yippee Skippy! Spent game at BF house w/ her crazy loud (jobless)hubby and cute baby. I'm helping stage their house for sale. Already looks 100X better.

I've evolved it seems. Being with baby doesn't make me crazy jealous.

Clomid starts next month, excited at possibilities. Actually think fertile today, but hubby is working 48 straight at the FD, so missing my window. Not freaking out about it like I used to. Doc made me feel less desperate for time. Seems I have mild PCOS. Even better, should be covered by insurance, which I didn't think any of this would be.

Other crazy - ex sister in law sent me pics of her miscarried baby. Creepy beyond words. Why would anyone think other people want to see their partially developed baby posed with props like a doll house teddy bear? I understand how traumatic it is to lose a chile, but seems over the line!

Wednesday, January 9, 2008

Happy New Year!

January 2008 and still not pregnant. This is OK. I am happy, healthy, and have a great life! The holidays were fun and it was good to see family and friends. We've had a generous amount of snow this past month. I love it! Of course, it's been 60 degrees the past two days, which is great too. Now the snowbanks have melted enough that we can at least see to back out of the driveway without putting our life in our hands. Thirty minutes after taking the picture above, I booked tickets to Florida in March. ha ha. I love it, but the great wall of snow was beginning to form between our house and our neighbor.

I went to my primary care physician last night. I mentioned that my period is now every 6-8 weeks, sometimes longer. She advised that I am probably not ovulating. She suggested I go back to my ObGyn to discuss possibly using Clomid.

Since my last miscarriage in May, I have been wondering why I can't read my body anymore! I couldn't figure when I was fertile and was making Matt have sex with me on all of these random days during the month. When I got pg the last three times, I could tell when I was fertile by the cm. All three times I immediately got pg. I haven't had the cm and figured I was being crazy and over-analyzing. It is nice to know that I was not crazy and my body is just screwing me over, once again.

So, I have an appointment next week. I hope that Clomid works for me. I'll be 37 on February 3. Yes, the same day as the SuperBowl. If the Pats make it to the SuperBowl, I'll be amazed if anyone remembers my bday, including my husband! Anyway, I'm getting too old to sit around and wait for something to happen.

I'm curious how Clomid has worked for other women. If anyone has had positive or negative experiences with it, I would like to know!

happy new year!