Monday, December 3, 2007

Baby it's cold outside

We had the first snowfall of the season today. I love snow. It's so peaceful and clean. I hope we get much more this winter, I can't wait to go snow-shoeing.

I love the picture of the kitty above; it was taken the night before we had to put her to sleep. It's been just over a year since we had to say goodbye and I still miss her. She was the best cat ever. I know this is true because people who hate cats used to love her. Plus, we've gotten 3 kitties since she left us, and none of them hold a candle to her. They are all wonderful! But they are not her. Thinking about her still brings a tear to my eye. There has been a lot of loss in the past two years. A lot of loss.

So, still not pregnant. It was so easy when we started trying and got pregnant the first time - and lost it at 6 weeks. Now it's been since May 1 that I had my last miscarriage, and I'm getting all uptight about getting older and being unable to conceive. I can't afford infertility treatment - it's not covered under my insurance. I can't afford to adopt. I'm sure there is some life lesson that I'm supposed to learn from this, but I'm having a hard time being open to the lesson. I hope that I can learn to accept my fate gracefully.

Melancholy Be GONE!!!!